I Am A Selfie Addict…

“You post wayyy too many selfies,” my husband said. “She posts too many selfies. WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?” His aunt asked. It’s the proverbial lecture I get from my husband and his family. They are GORGEOUS, thin, and beautiful and get the admiration in real time that I do not. I am stubby, bulldog faced, and fat. I don’t get that admiration at all. I am overlooked, which is better than being critiqued or made fun of, and that happens as well. Being unattractive is hard. One one hand I am so happy for my gorgeous friends, but what about me? What is intriguing about me? I had a friend who was a ballerina and a model and we would go out to play pool and all the guys flocked to her. All the guys wanted her to be on the back of their motorcycle and I was happy for her. My friend Katie, all the guys wanted to date her with her perfect body and pretty face. Men like bodies that are proportionate, and like my English Mother says, “I am a bloke with boobs”. Yeah, I have my followers but most want to see the 42H’s in their glory and wank it to be, but I am a novelty with my boobs.

The first time I took a selfie online, and I did the “fat girl” angle and was completely GORGE, I got compliments like my pretty and friend and it felt good. It just got addictive. I mean overlooked at work, post a selfie and feel better, and the comments that I normally wouldn’t get were from men who would never give me the time of day, or otherwise and that gave me a rush of sorts.

However, it grows old and my likes have been less and less, except for one who likes a picture and I am a bit creeped out.

I still post selfies to show my amazing wigs, but other than that, it’s not a rush any more.

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I like to do journal prompts and you should, too. Picking various ones and doing them towards my own healing….

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Helen VanPatterson-Patton

I like to do journal prompts and you should, too. Picking various ones and doing them towards my own healing….